Of Mediums and Perspectives

I started drawing at an early age and I still vividly remember doodling my very first concept of a house on a piece of paper. It was an amazing feeling to see a simple sketch of lines and shapes turn into something detailed right before my very eyes which my mind has perceived beforehand. I even remember being one of the few in my elementary school to get chosen and join drawing competitions.

I never really understood then why we have to portray the Filipino concept of bayanihan--saving Mother Nature, recycling, or doing acts of goodwill towards others in our drawings instead of fighting robots, funny cartoon characters, or carnage and gore (I was a kid). I enjoyed the challenge, though, because it made me ponder and look at the things that really matter in the world. Never would I have thought that what I was doing was a form of social artistry.

According to Pauline Salvana-Bautista, a professor at the UP college of music, she defined the term social artistry as “the process of becoming aware of one’s goals and potentials, expressing these in ways that can be experienced by the senses, and defining values and habits to animate these experienced goals and potentials, in the context of improving self, community and environment.”  In short, art can be used as a medium that can convey an idea that is both relative and subjective. It can be easily and openly interpreted making it the perfect language to capture the curiosity of a person for whatever purpose. In our case, this means opening self-awareness towards the improvement of society.

But then again, before one can start using art to help the society, one must learn first its 7 key concepts to pinpoint its problems.

(1) Society

(2) Values

(3) Poverty

(4) Human Rights

(5) Good Leadership

(6) Contribution of Teachers and Parents to Nation Building

(7) and Sustainable Human Development.

I don’t know about you, but I would enjoy reading a comic strip or watching an interpretative dance about saving the planet and helping other people. Heck, I even took pleasure listening to Smokey Mountain’s "Paraiso" as a kid.

Source:
Ayala, Joey et al. SINING-BAYAN: ART OF NATION BUILDING: Social Artistry Fieldbook
to Promote Good Citizenship Values for Prosperity and Integrity. (2009). "SOCIAL ARTISTRY IN CIVIC WELFARE TRAINING SERVICE, Building the Self to Extend to Others (p 189-196). 

Seven Months Ago Today

I was sitting alone on a bus that gloomy Monday morning. I tried my best to sleep but the chilly atmosphere kept me awake. The air con was humming full blast mercilessly. I figured the driver wasn’t too sympathetic towards his passengers either. Peering outside, looking at the endless road made me forget the cold atmosphere and it was even enough to put me in a daze to make my mind wander.

   

Seven months ago today, was a life-changing moment of realization. I wasn’t happy with my everyday routine of sitting my ass off for a six-hour travel just to sit for another eight, doing a mind-numbing job behind a desk. Don’t get me wrong though, despite a highly competitive job market, I was thankful to even have one. I remembered myself ecstatic at first. I thought I could easily get used to the pressure, the competition, the long commutes, conflict among colleagues, the racist boss, the drunkenly wasted Friday (or Monday) nights; not to mention the impossible goals and quotas we need to achieve. Reaching the end, it eventually burned me down. Working for the man has its toll. Sooner or later, I was bound to realize that I was the cog running the capitalist machine. I suddenly pictured myself as a mule, pulling a cart that won’t budge because it’s loaded with heavy stones. It’s just pointless, impossible, and never-ending--and I didn’t like it one bit. The futility and idea itself made me lose my significance and question my fulfillment. “There must be something more to life, there should be.” I mumbled to myself.

Seven months ago today, was a moment of pure clarity. I’m back and full of purpose, studying in the country’s top University, no less. I am trying to set my priorities straight because someday, it is my duty and obligation as a citizen to give back to my country no matter how big or small. 

The Communitarian Model of Citizenship

The trustor-trustee relationship in a social contract gives us an idea why societies need a form of government. The social contract is put in place to ensure the society’s stability, order, and progress. Looking at the other side of the coin, the individuals in a society has an equal role to perform alongside its chosen system of rule to fulfill the success of a social contract.

By definition, the communitarian model of citizenship argues that “society is made up of groups and communities and only works effectively when individuals feel part of such communities.” (Leydet 2011, Zalta 2011) It is in Man’s innate nature to seek for the meaning of his existence which he may validate through self-fulfillment. The communitarian view gives an individual a sense of purpose as a citizen with duties and obligations for the good of his community. This also gives him the satisfaction and feeling of giving something in return in exchange for his rights as a citizen. Under these circumstances, the aim of an individual in the communitarian perspective to validate his self- fulfillment is to do his duties and obligations as a citizen for the good and success of his group or community.

In a nutshell, if I were an individual with a communitarian perspective, it is my duty to give back to my community because it is in my belief that I can only be a full-fledged citizen and be allowed my rights by doing so.

Back to School

So we're required to write a blog for our CWTS1 class. I have decided to use my little corner of the internet to air out my thoughts.

It was my second time last night to attend an online class. We used Yahoo Messenger as the primary medium of communication for another subject just a few years ago. We experienced a lot of technical difficulties making it less enjoyable then. I'm glad to say that today, technology-wise, computers have more-than-enough hardware specs and the ISPs can provide higher bandwidth capacities which are more stable and faster. Not to mention that there are a lot of great online teaching tools the instructors may use and choose from.

The discussion last night was about citizenship. There were a lot of ideas and each of my eager classmates had a lot of thought-provoking insights to share (specially when it comes to politics.) The scroll speed of the chatbox was nothing short of insane. I hope Prof. V. didn't have a hard time catching up (to think she was also feeling a bit under the weather.) I thought she discussed the topic pretty well and I was able to understand most of it.

I think the gist of citizenship is that we have our responsibilities (following the law) to ensure our "needs" are met from a fully-working society. At the same time, what we "want" in life (e.g., success) will give us the fulfillment in which only a successful society can provide.

See you all again in class.

Lies

I hate you.

You know quite well why I still put up with your shit.

You were right when you told me that we should both just forget about everything.

That's what I'm trying to do.

So all I'm asking is for you to leave me alone and fuck off.

Tsk.

Nostalgia

Lengthy bus rides.
Hour-long airplane rides.
Shaky fast ferry rides.
40-peso tricycle rides.
Taxi rides.
Ugly and dirty hotel rooms.
Scrumptious meals.
Sugar plantations.
BS-laden conversations.
Sincere moments.
Beach sunsets.

I'll never look at beaches the same way again..


Just some of the things I will miss.

Bittersweet

It wasn't my fault. But I'd like to think it wasn't yours either. See, I'd like to think and remember things about you differently. I'd like to see you in a different, better light. At least that's who you were and what I saw when I first met you. You were shattered, hurt, and desperately crying for help. How it seemed like you would do and give up everything just to lose all that pain inside you. You know I did everything I could to put you back in one piece.

I always made sure that you're at your best by giving you assurance that you have me to lean on. But the stupid lover that I am, and the manipulative person that you are, I fell for you. It's easy to fall for someone when you see them at their best. I'm sorry, it wasn't my fault to fall.

Sadly, things change. People change. Whatever your reason was, you've changed. Suddenly, everything about us seemed to be world's apart from your perspective. I slowly realized, you're done, moved on, and that you don't need me anymore. Tongue-tied and dumbfounded, I don't know what to say. I know it wasn't my fault. But I would like to think it wasn't yours either.

Bobo.

Interviewer: Let's say you were given a chance to be the President of the Philippines for three days, what would you do to improve our economy?

Me: I would build roads to connect the entire country so that transportation of goods would be easier.

Interviewer: In three days? (rolls eyes)

Me: We're just both assuming here, aren't we?

Ask a stupid question and you will surely get a stupid answer.

step-down xformer

Darkest Corner

Comic Strip.

So a friend and I decided to make our very own comic strip. I'll be his illustrator and he'll be the script writer. What we didn't agree about is who will put the text into the speech bubble. He said I made the speech bubbles too small to fit the text inside. I say it's his fault by making a long-ass script. We eventually came to an agreement not to finish the project.

Just figure it out.




(edit edit lang muna.)

Regards to Ian.

Bored

I'm pretty much bored with everything that's happening in my life. I'm...

1. bored with school
2. bored with my job
3. bored with. . .
4. bored with this fucking blog
5. bored with my friends
6. bored being a bum
7. bored using the internet
8. bored with eating
9. bored. .
10. bored. .
11 bored. .
12. And the boring list goes on..

How about you? Also bored with your shit lately?

Wating-wating

Tangina, lasing na naman ako pagkatapos ng mahabang panahon.

Emerson (1984 - 2007)

We will miss you Eme.

Summer's Over.

Unlike other people, I have always liked the gloomy and rainy weathers. It’s the perfect time to read a good book, think about happy thoughts while lying in bed or, have coffee with someone and talk about just anything.

When I was a kid, my neighbors and I would play outside when it’s raining. We liked the coolness of rainwater on our backs. We would splash muddy water on each other until our clothes were so dirty that we can't use them ever again because the mud-stain won't come off. We’d also make paper boats out of the pages of our school notebooks and we’d race them on the muddy rainwater.

But the best thing I like about rainy weathers is that I can take a leak wherever I want and no one would notice that it's my piss they're stepping on since it looks like well, rainwater.

Summer’s over.

Boss Bawang

Hahahaha!! May gumaya sa "Boy Bawang®"

Natuwa lang ako sa design kasi medyo pareho.

Meet "Boss Bawang™" Bwahahaha!!!

Tangina talaga.

Sino kayang mananalo pag nag-suntukan sila? Hmm..

Therapy for Social Awkwardness

So I was sitting here in front of my computer when suddenly, I heard our driver talking to someone outside.

Babae: “Hi Sir! Blah blah blah.. Therapy.. yada yada..” (I couldn’t hear what they were talking about, much less care about it.)

Mang Philip: “Eh drayber lang ako dito eh. Blah blah..”

Babae: “Sino po ang nandyan?”

Mang Philip: “Blah blah.. Nasa loob”

So I went outside my room to see what the fuss was all about. I was startled when I saw these two girls peeking through the screen door which unfortunately was not locked.

I began asking myself.. “Just who the fuck are these people?”

Beggars? Nope. Too well dressed.

Missionaries? Nah. Too fuckin girly. They’re not white people either.

Hawkers? Maybe..

..I bet they’re selling something. That must be it. The fucking A-holes.

Babae: “Hi Sir! Kami po ay manggagamot ng astral out of body experience (that’s what I’ve heard.) blah blah, yada yada” (I wasn't really paying attention to what they were saying.)

Ako: “Ano yun? Anong kailangan nyo? Hindi, hindi. Di ako interesado.” ( I thought they would simply go away after I’ve told them that I’m not interested to whatever they’re offering)

But nooooo!!!! .. They brought their own fuckin set of rebuttals..

Babae: “Bakit naman sir?”

Ako: “Eh hindi eh. Sa ibang araw na lang kayo bumalik. may ginagawa kasi ako eh”

Babae: “Sir kailan po? Pasok na kami sa loob ha.”

Ako: (Why the fuck are you entering my house? Get out of my house!) “ha?!?” (I didn’t even had the time to answer them. They sort of just let themselves in.)

Then came a series of questions that annoyed the living shit out of my wits.

“Anong name nyo?” - Alan Dmsereres.

“Ano po ulit yun?” – Alan Dbuisfas.

“May asawa kayo?” – la.

“Asan mother nyo?” - la.

“Ano yung kabilang bahay, may nakatira ba dun?” -Siguro? (It’s a house! What do you expect? Like duh..)

“Anong ginagawa nyo?” – trabaho.

“San ka nag-wowork?” – dito lang.

“kailan kayo pwede ulit? – next week.

-Then some sweet, awkward silence-

Ako: “O tapos na?”

Babae: “opo sir next week na lang? Anong araw at oras?”

Ako: “May 7, 1:00 ng tanghali.” ( Hehe. I’ve chosen the hottest time of the day and I wouldn’t be here anyway. Yes, I'm an asshole.)

Babae: “Sige po sir.”

Ako: “Para san nga ulit yan?”

Babae: “Sa mga may arthritis, sakit sa blah blah, yada yada (I wasn’t paying attention again)

Ako: “E wala naman akong sakit ah..”

Babae: “Kahit na sir. Dapat nakaligo na kayo sa Monday bago mag-therapy.”

Ako: “Ah.. k.” (Like yeah, sure. Whatever.)

Damn trespassers. Never came back too.

puter.

If only my computer could talk, I wonder what it'll tell me..

"Let me rest, you lazy ass!"

"You need to stand up and get out of the house. You need a life, man.. No, seriously."

"Porn again!? Don't you ever get tired of looking at that shit?? What a loser.."

"Stop jerking off in front of me for the love of god!!!"

"Don't stare at me like that."

"Kill me now, please."

"Uh-oh, I'm beginning to f*ck your files up. I think you should buy a new computer."

"I'm overused and under-appreciated, just like your...."

"F you. Unplug me. NOW!"

"o_O"

"Aling Tessie"

She’s been here since God knows when. Hmmm, maybe around 10. ..or 15 years ago to be exact, I wouldn’t really know. She was with us for as long as I can remember. Aling Tessie, or Tesi as we call her, has been working as our house help ever since I was a kid. She actually saw me grew up to be a man and practically knew me half of my life.

When I was a kid, I remembered playing pranks on her whenever she’s working:

“Riiiiiing! Riiiiing!”
Me: “hiluu, pwidi makipag-pumpal?!?”
Tesi: “Uhhh.. sigi..”
(Then I’d be laughing my ass off)

Or, I would turn off the lights when she’s cleaning the bathroom:

“Click!”
(I would hide inside the closet)
Tesi: “Sinu naman nagpatay ng ilaw? Nakakahilu! Alan! Buwang ka!”

..And scare the crap out of her:


Me: "Tesssssiiiiiiiiii putooo, pambili ng putooo!! limang pisooo!!!"
Tesi: "Ay bayag, Utis!! Anak ng kabayo!! Ehek!! Buwang ka!"

Plus, she has these three great alibis that she uses until now if she’s late or will be absent for work. For some reason, it always worked for her.


First would be that someone had died:
“Namatay yung kapitbahay namin, nasagasaan ng trin.”
“Namatay yung tiyahin ku.” (She had a lot of dead aunts, believe me.)

Second was, her husband and their son was drunk and killed each other:
“Lasing ang mag-ama, muntikan nang magsaksakan, nadamay nga aku..”
“Itong si Lando, Lasing na naman nung umuwi eh pinigilan ko ang ama, baka buntalin!”

And the third one would be that one of her five (or six I think) kids was in the hospital, suffering from an unknown, incurable disease.

She’d also use these excuses right after getting her salary at the middle and end of the month.

Aling Tessie won’t follow any of my requests anymore. She would pretend that she didn’t hear me whenever I ask her to do something. And, even if she does, she would simply say, “Gawin mo mag-isa mo. Ikaw nakaisip eh!”

-which is fine. Because she is, after all, part of the family.

Hababerdi Tesi, and more berdis to come.

Uhugin

Hindi ko mawari kung kailan at hindi ko malaman kung paano. Isang araw, bumahin na lang ako, Sinipon, inuhog at dumami ang kulangot. Hindi ko alam kung saan nagsimula pero ganun na talaga eh. Nasa elementarya pa lamang yata ako noon ay parang gripo na ang ilong ko.

Hindi ako marunong suminga noon. Nandidiri ako sa aking sariling sipon. Malabnaw, malagkit at maalat. Oo, natikman ko na ang aking sariling sipon. Aminin mo, kahit ikaw siguro nung bata ka, kumakayat din ang uhog mo sa dau (daanan nang uhog sa pagitan ng ilong at bibig) Hindi ako makapag-laro ng maayos at makakain ng maayos dahil tumutulo ang aking uhog. Mahirap matulog pag may sipon. Bumabara sa ilong. Hindi ako makahinga. Kailangan ko pang mahiga ng patagilid para mawala ang bara sa isang butas. Tapos halin-hinan na sila.

Ngayon, beinte-dos anyos na ako. Walang pinagbago. Pero marunong na ako suminga. Minsan may dugo pa ngang kasama. Mahirap magtrabaho at mag-aral dahil sa sipon. Mas grabe pa nga yata ngayon dahil mabahin lang ako ng isa sa umaga, buong araw na siyang mag-rerebolusyon. Corrosive na din yata ang sipon ko dahil nabubutas na yung panyo ko kaka-punas. Wala din tutsang na tumutubo sa loob ng ilong ko. May duktor na nga na nagsabi sa akin kung anong gamot ang bibilhin ko para sa sipon kaso, hindi pa ako nakakabili. Wala pa kasing pera na ganung kalaki eh. Minsan nga gusto ko na ipaputol ang ilong ko dahil nakakadesperado ang kalagayan ko.

Pero wag na lang. Mas mahirap yata mabuhay ng walang ilong.

*sniff* *sniff*