Paranoia

I can’t close my eyes because it’s there and it’s waiting for me. Waiting for me to fall asleep. It’s just hiding somewhere under my bed. I know it’ll do something to harm me. “What are you? What the fuck are you!?” I know it’s there. “Leave me alone! Why don’t you fuck off and go back to hell where you came from? Just leave me alone."

What’s the scariest thing that's ever happened to you? I’d love to know.

Nakakita yata ako ng mumu. Yata lang naman.

Salvation

The blinking cursor spun in my head like a silhouette of euphoric dancing clowns in a circus.

I suddenly saw her, calling and seducing me, pleading me to lie on top of her.

I saw them too, wailing at the top of their lungs, (or so I thought) telling me to satisfy them with my soft hugs.

I was hesitant, even shouting inside my head for them to stop for I cannot please them tonight.

"No, not tonight. I’m sorry, I just can’t."


But I can’t just ignore them! I have to do something.

I have humanly urges, too. And even my complex, dominant brain has no control to make it stop.


I gave in and decided to lie on top of you.

Felt you with my hands.

Hugged your soft features.

Oh how your wholeness blanketed my weary nothingness!

How everything felt so serene and peaceful.


Now I am silently falling..

falling into the abyss that you made for us.

I’m losing control.

I need to take hold and regain my emotions before the oblivion sets in.

But I can’t.

I lost and simply had to give in.


Bukas na lang yung assignment, sarap matulog sa kama.

Bobing.

Kanina, bumili ako sa McDonald’s Edsa Central.

Habang hinihintay ko yung big breakfast ko ay may babaeng sumingit.

Ang tagal daw ng serbisyo kaya tinawag niya na ang cashier at naiimbyerna na daw siya kunwari.

Tinanong siya ng cashier kung anong gusto niya.

Sabi ni ms. imbyerna, yun daw soseyj brekpast, yung may “omeley.”

Maderhamper, gusto kong mautot sa kakatawa.

Syet naman o.

Yun lang.