If only my computer could talk, I wonder what it'll tell me..
"Let me rest, you lazy ass!"
"You need to stand up and get out of the house. You need a life, man.. No, seriously."
"Porn again!? Don't you ever get tired of looking at that shit?? What a loser.."
"Stop jerking off in front of me for the love of god!!!"
"Don't stare at me like that."
"Kill me now, please."
"Uh-oh, I'm beginning to f*ck your files up. I think you should buy a new computer."
"I'm overused and under-appreciated, just like your...."
"F you. Unplug me. NOW!"