I was sitting alone on a bus that
gloomy Monday morning. I tried my best to sleep but the chilly atmosphere kept
me awake. The air con was humming full blast mercilessly. I figured the
driver wasn’t too sympathetic towards his passengers either. Peering outside,
looking at the endless road made me forget the cold atmosphere and it was even enough
to put me in a daze to make my mind wander.
Seven months ago today, was a life-changing
moment of realization. I wasn’t happy with my everyday routine of sitting my
ass off for a six-hour travel just to sit for another eight, doing a
mind-numbing job behind a desk. Don’t get me wrong though, despite a highly competitive
job market, I was thankful to even have one. I remembered myself ecstatic at
first. I thought I could easily get used to the pressure, the competition, the
long commutes, conflict among colleagues, the racist boss, the drunkenly wasted
Friday (or Monday) nights; not to mention the impossible goals and quotas we
need to achieve. Reaching the end, it eventually burned me down. Working for
the man has its toll. Sooner or later, I was bound to realize that I was the
cog running the capitalist machine. I suddenly pictured myself as a mule,
pulling a cart that won’t budge because it’s loaded with heavy stones. It’s
just pointless, impossible, and never-ending--and I didn’t like it one bit. The
futility and idea itself made me lose my significance and question my
fulfillment. “There must be something more to life, there should be.” I mumbled
to myself.
Seven months ago today, was a moment
of pure clarity. I’m back and full of purpose, studying in the country’s top University,
no less. I am trying to set my priorities straight because someday, it is my
duty and obligation as a citizen to give back to my country no matter how big
or small.
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