Sunday, November 03, 2013

Seven Months Ago Today

I was sitting alone on a bus that gloomy Monday morning. I tried my best to sleep but the chilly atmosphere kept me awake. The air con was humming full blast mercilessly. I figured the driver wasn’t too sympathetic towards his passengers either. Peering outside, looking at the endless road made me forget the cold atmosphere and it was even enough to put me in a daze to make my mind wander.
Seven months ago today, was a life-changing moment of realization. I wasn’t happy with my everyday routine of sitting my ass off for a six-hour travel just to sit for another eight, doing a mind-numbing job behind a desk. Don’t get me wrong though, despite a highly competitive job market, I was thankful to even have one. I remembered myself ecstatic at first. I thought I could easily get used to the pressure, the competition, the long commutes, conflict among colleagues, the racist boss, the drunkenly wasted Friday (or Monday) nights; not to mention the impossible goals and quotas we need to achieve. Reaching the end, it eventually burned me down. Working for the man has its toll. Sooner or later, I was bound to realize that I was the cog running the capitalist machine. I suddenly pictured myself as a mule, pulling a cart that won’t budge because it’s loaded with heavy stones. It’s just pointless, impossible, and never-ending--and I didn’t like it one bit. The futility and idea itself made me lose my significance and question my fulfillment. “There must be something more to life, there should be.” I mumbled to myself.

Seven months ago today, was a moment of pure clarity. I’m back and full of purpose, studying in the country’s top University, no less. I am trying to set my priorities straight because someday, it is my duty and obligation as a citizen to give back to my country no matter how big or small. 

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