Sunday, May 06, 2007

Therapy for Social Awkwardness

So I was sitting here in front of my computer when suddenly, I heard our driver talking to someone outside.
Babae: “Hi Sir! Blah blah blah.. Therapy.. yada yada..” (I couldn’t hear what they were talking about, much less care about it.)
Mang Philip: “Eh drayber lang ako dito eh. Blah blah..”
Babae: “Sino po ang nandyan?”
Mang Philip: “Blah blah.. Nasa loob”
So I went outside my room to see what the fuss was all about. I was startled when I saw these two girls peeking through the screen door which unfortunately was not locked.
I began asking myself.. “Just who the fuck are these people?”
Beggars? Nope. Too well dressed.
Missionaries? Nah. Too fuckin girly. They’re not white people either.
Hawkers? Maybe..
..I bet they’re selling something. That must be it. The fucking A-holes.
Babae: “Hi Sir! Kami po ay manggagamot ng astral out of body experience (that’s what I’ve heard.) blah blah, yada yada” (I wasn't really paying attention to what they were saying.)
Ako: “Ano yun? Anong kailangan nyo? Hindi, hindi. Di ako interesado.” ( I thought they would simply go away after I’ve told them that I’m not interested to whatever they’re offering)
But nooooo!!!! .. They brought their own fuckin set of rebuttals..
Babae: “Bakit naman sir?”
Ako: “Eh hindi eh. Sa ibang araw na lang kayo bumalik. may ginagawa kasi ako eh”
Babae: “Sir kailan po? Pasok na kami sa loob ha.”
Ako: (Why the fuck are you entering my house? Get out of my house!) “ha?!?” (I didn’t even had the time to answer them. They sort of just let themselves in.)
Then came a series of questions that annoyed the living shit out of my wits.



“Anong name nyo?” - Alan Dmsereres.
“Ano po ulit yun?” – Alan Dbuisfas.
“May asawa kayo?” – la.
“Asan mother nyo?” - la.
“Ano yung kabilang bahay, may nakatira ba dun?” -Siguro? (It’s a house! What do you expect? Like duh..)
“Anong ginagawa nyo?” – trabaho.
“San ka nag-wowork?” – dito lang.
“kailan kayo pwede ulit? – next week.

-Then some sweet, awkward silence-

Ako: “O tapos na?”
Babae: “opo sir next week na lang? Anong araw at oras?”
Ako: “May 7, 1:00 ng tanghali.” ( Hehe. I’ve chosen the hottest time of the day and I wouldn’t be here anyway. Yes, I'm an asshole.)
Babae: “Sige po sir.”
Ako: Para san nga ulit yan?”
Babae: “Sa mga may arthritis, sakit sa blah blah, yada yada (I wasn’t paying attention again)
Ako: “E wala naman akong sakit ah..”
Babae: “Kahit na sir. Dapat nakaligo na kayo sa Monday bago mag-therapy.”
Ako: “Ah.. k.” (Like yeah, sure. Whatever.)

Damn trespassers. Never came back too.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

ha? ano ka! me asawa kna woi! tska madami ka sakit kaya ganyan ka! wahahahaha! tpos ang harsh mu naman sa bisitwors! wahahaha! oi ipod ko!

Anonymous said...

ay may asawa?

Alan Tanga said...

@anonymous: hahaha!! eh pano ko babalik ke mabel? ay syet. hinahanap ko sa lamesa, di ko makita. hanapin ko. wait lang. hihi

@anonymous: hmm..

issai said...

hahaha! :p

Anonymous said...

ulul ka! wak mo walain un! ahuhuhu..sama2x mo tlga! wla kna pasalubong!!! ampness ka tlga! punta ka kina mabel..

_NeuRos_ said...

Anu nga ulet yung therapy??